Partnership vs Patriarchal Relationship Model
Every once in a while I'll see online comments or commentary from guys that women don't want nice guys, they want bad boys. Maybe not criminals, but certainly the stereotypical "Alpha"male. I've seen more than one guy (very confused and hurt) saying he respects women, he treats the women in his life well and yet - in spite of the fact this is what women say they want - they really don't.
Theories abound. From the men, it's usually the idea that women want an Alpha, someone who can rock her world in bed, protect her from her enemies, and provide for her children. From the women, it's usually, "we just don't want a wuss, we want someone who's confident" which I can more or less agree on. Then comes the add-on. The comment that always confuses the hell out of me and makes me want to gag.
"We want someone who'll wear the pants in the family"
Or something that essentially boils down to that.
Given that if I wanted to do something and my boyfriend, lover, or mate tried to tell me "no", it would be a very short conversation. I do not need a keeper. I'm flabberghasted that anyone would think it's his job to be responsible for me. I'm not a child. I'm not a mental defective. I can take the consequences of my own bad decisions thank-you very much.
But that's the key isn't it?